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This pissed me off Picture

“I am so frustrated!

We had a meeting on Monday.

As a team, we discussed the options, and in the end, we decided on what we needed to do next.

It was done!

We made the decision!

But on Thursday, Ian came to me and told me to rethink the decision because he had some great ideas that worked better than we had.

I am so pissed off!

He always does this.

He doesn’t speak up during the meeting; we agree, he nods, and after a few days, he comes with what we need. He always does it!

That is fine in many situations.

But it’s too difficult to change the decision in this particular one!

This makes me angry!

I wish he had shared his ideas during the meeting and not done it after a couple of days when it was too late!”

When my friend shared this with me over a coffee, she had mixed feelings.

She was angry because the solutions Ian proposed were what she needed.

After the meeting, it was too late.

She was disappointed because he didn’t share them during the meeting.

A missed opportunity.

She was also concerned because that wasn’t the first time when Ian did it this way. She didn’t know how to make Ian speak up during the meetings. She asks his opinion during the meeting, but he hasn’t much to share then.

This situation started to affect the team.

After a meeting with Ian to discuss the matter and find solutions, she found out the problem.

Ian needs time to think and analyze the situation before he comes up with ideas and solutions.

He can’t think of any of them on the spot.

He needs time to think.

Have you had a similar situation in your team? For example, when there is a challenge/problem/opportunity discussed, and you or others come up with great ideas/solutions/options after the discussion has finished?

This is a common problem I find in many teams.

In this particular situation, we talk about 2 types of people: outgoing and reserved.

Outgoing people are the ones that come up with ideas on the spot, and reserved people need some time to think, analyze, and understand before they come up with ideas.

Here is a video 🎥 where I explain how to identify outgoing and reserved people (min 4:16) and what are the consequences of having that predisposition. (link video in the first comment)

There is a simple solution in this situation that helps reserved team members have the thinking time they need and then share their ideas during the meeting.

THE SOLUTION: send an email a few days before the meeting with the topics for discussion and what is expected in that meeting (to brainstorm, explore, debate, explain, decide, etc).

So reserved people have time to think on the matter.

Do not expect outgoing people to open that email and think in advance. They will do it 5 minutes before the meetings starts.

Write in a comment 👇🏼 if you had a similar situation in your team and what did you do? What worked and what didn’t?